Until I Get Over Losing You

Woke up today thinking of you
Another night that I made my way through
So many dreams still left in my mind
But they can never come true
I press rewind and remember when
I close my eyes and I’m with you again
In the end I can still feel the pain ­
Every time I hear your name

The sun won’t shine since you were taken away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be, until I get over losing you…

Walked through the park, in the evening air
I heard a voice and I thought you were there
I run away but I just can’t escape
Memories of you everywhere
They say that time will dry the tears
But true friendship burns for a thousand years
Give my tomorrows for one yesterday
Just to know that I could have you here

When will this river of tears stop falling
Where can I run so I won’t feel alone
Can’t walk away when the pain keeps calling
I’ve just gotta take it from here on my own
But it’s so hard to let go

The sun won’t shine since you were taken away
Seems like the rain’s falling every day
There’s just one heart, where there once was two
But that’s the way it’s gotta be, until I get over losing you…



This is another song that really spoke to me. I have changed and added some words of my own to make it even more personal. Until I Get Over You, by Christina Milian

Strange and Still So Fresh

As I look at pictures of Kierra, like this one, I always make myself think that she is still here. I think to myself, I need to call her and see whats up and why I haven't seen her lately. Then it hits me like a rock all over again, like the first time I heard the news, she's gone. I miss her calls. I can still hear her voicemails in my mind. " Hey there hot stuff, when you get a hot minute, call me ok sweetie!" Just a sample of her regular messages.
This week I seem so emotionally charged. Everything makes me want to cry. I can't even watch a soap comercial with out tearing up. I am an emotional wreck. I don't know if its the thought that her birthday is coming up, she would have been 25. Would have been, even that simple sentence shakes me to my very core. I am still waiting for her to call me and ask me what we are doing for her birthday. " It's my birthday, you know we HAVE to go out! " I have to keep telling myself, Brenda, she is gone and that call is not coming. I don't want to believe it. Life without my best friend is a journey everyday. That seems to get harder every day. Imagine going through your life without that one person that you tell everything to, life without the one person who is there for you no matter what. Never judges you, always loves you just for being you.

Please Remember

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And your left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I’ll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our seperate ways
I won’t forget so don’t forget
The memories we made

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

Goodbye, there’s just no sadder word to say
And it’s sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who’s to know what might have been
We’ll leave behind a life and time
We’ll never know again

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
And remember, please remember me

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
While we were wild and free
Then remember, please remember me

And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this world was yours and mine
And how a dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
I had you and you had me

Please remember, please remember



I don't know about other people, but music means so much to me. I like songs that have meaning, something to say. What's funny is that before Kierra's death I hated country music. Couldn't stand it. But it seems that all of my favorite songs recently have been counrty songs. They seem to have more meaning and depth then most of the main stream pop music. the song above is by LeAnn Rimes. It is my absolute favorite song right now. It reminds me of all the memories I shared with Kierra. I put the words that mean the most to me in bold. I try to remember them all, but as time goes by the memories seem to fade. Then out of nowhere they are back, as if they have floated to the surface. I want to remember everything about her, so when the twins ask, I'll have something to say.

Updates and Such

Well week two of college is over, and I am still loving it. Don't get me wrong, its stressful and the homework is hard. It is going to be worth it in the end!!! This week we had to pick our project subject in my psychology class and I turned in my first essay for my english class.
Tuesdays and Thursdays my classes are at the FCCJ South campus. So on those days this week I went over to Mari-Janes' house to spend time with her and the kids. Well Thursday Mari-Jane dropped the twins and I off at Ollie Koalas, while she went and got Hunter. That place is really alot of fun. The twins love that big play area, hell, so did I!!! I watched the twins during Hunter's graduation last night. They did the most wonderful thing. We were sitting on the couch watching TV. I was sitting there thinking about Kierra and how much I missed her. All of the sudden Tristan and Alexa both came over to me and gave me big hugs and sat on my lap. It was almost as if they knew what I was thinking and knew I needed a hug. I love those little guys!!!

New Me!

This is the new do!!! Short hair rocks!!!

Teachers

Well as all of you know, this is my first experience at this whole college thing. So be prepared for many a blog about school, its pretty much taking over my life, which I love. If that makes my a dork, oh well!!! I have always heard horror stories about professors, so I was a little nervous about what kind of professors I would end up with. I picked my classes based on my schedule not on who taught the class. So I went into my classes blindly, not knowing what to expect.
Well let me just tell you, I have been blessed with the best professors EVER!!! My psychology class is 3 hours long, forever, I know. But it doesn't seem that way. Class just flies right by!!! I have Dr. Julian Stratmann. She is what I want to be like when I "grow up." My English class is a much shorter class. I never thought I would enjoy writing essays, but surprise surprise, I DO!!! Plus the textbook is great, filled with essays, and tips for writing essays. I am taking a Math and History class online, the professors on there seem pretty cool too. I lucked out and I am so thankful for that!!!

School Begins

Well I survived 2 days in college so far. I finally found that damn math book. Only FCCJ sells it and all of the FCCJ bookstores were sold out of it, but I finally found it today. so I am excited about that! My psychology class was fun, we had to write down a fact about us that made us different from other people, then guess which person was which. It was a way for all of us to get to know on and other. Today was my English class, the teacher seems really cool. We jumped right into the learning process and I am already loaded down with homework. I also did my Math and History class today. Fun, fun, fun!!!