How can you not see the pain in my eyes when I speak about her? Do you not see how much her death has affected me? I should be able to tell you anything, yet I am afraid. Afraid of how you will respond to my emotions and thoughts. Afraid that you will judge me because you will never truly understand what I am going through until it happens to you. I have thoughts of joining her. I am too afraid to tell you something like that. I will get the same response as I get to everything.
Some people are able to move on faster than others. Or are they just better at hiding it? Why am I so afraid to move on and make new friends? I think I may be scared to be so open with a person to only have them taken away forever. So, instead I don't open up at all. I don't want this to happen again, I don't know if I could handle it. I too, am not the person I once was. Something was taken from me, never to be returned.
I understand that some people are tired of reading my depressing blogs. If you don't like it, don't read it. This is my only outlet for these thoughts crowding my head.
2 comments:
Honey you are moving on in your own pace and time frame... And you have been making new friends and opening up some in your own way. Just like Darnell he is just now opening back up and being his self. It takes time and I am and will always be here for you... Love you Muah!!!!
Posted by "THE BIG SHOW" on Wednesday, June 14, 2006 at 9:14 AM
[Reply to this]
You are never alone baby, and you can tell me anything!! I think you and I are on the same page most of the time.. You are beautiful, you are special and she loved you! Be proud of that and the rest will come. Love you lots, MJ
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